Measuring I.4.84

11-15-13

I sort of wish I could make this fiction-y, but I don't think I could. I'm not sure I want to, if that makes sense.

Anyway, this week I realized that I've been doing the same thing that Bean did at the beginning of Ender's Shadow, trying to conquer all the schoolwork when it was the connections with the people that needed to be created. I've been doing a bit of that, too, but it's definitely not the same as some of my classmates (one seems super unassuming and yet is sometimes talking about some informational, networking trip he made; he wants to share the information with us, which is nice, but he seems so on top of it).

I mean, this is the first week I've actually gone to speak to professors outside of class (and only one I spoke to is a professor I actually have in a class this semester). Granted, it is faculty advising and we have open advising, so anybody in our school can sign up to talk to any professor in our school, but still.

I ended up telling the one professor I went to advise with (more like, confirm everything I'd already planned out) that I've been adjusting to coming to such a big school (which is true) and that I'd been doing that by just trying to get all my homework done, and not visiting profs despite my desire to do so. The professor's advice? One, if a professor's office hours clash with my classes or with work, just e-mail them and set up a time, and two, "stop being bashful" because I'm paying a lot of money to go here and I should take advantage of what I'm paying for. Which I totally agree with.

But I suppose it rubbed against other things I've been told, like this here. And so I've been living in my head too much this week, feeling a bit like an impostor even though I know I'm not, and feeling a bit overwhelmed. That also might explain why I've been trying to earn the procrastination honor this week; I have stuff to do, papers to write, etc, but I find myself reading webcomics and eating ice cream instead, partially because there's still two weeks til the paper is due and partially because I don't know why.

Anyway, I have once again resolved certain things. The clue's in the title and this link.

The other resolution is that my confidence can't come from my appearance, but that's for a whole 'nother post.

You May Have Seen This Already...

but I don't care because it is beautiful. Also, now I'm going to talk more about it.

This is the 1886 copy of Tennyson's poems that I purchased last Thursday at Dawn Treader Book Shop, which is basically a book nerd's dream come true for finding secondhand (or thirdhand or whatever) books. Seriously, the first time I stepped in there I was afraid I was going to get lost. The shop is actually a bit bigger on the inside. Well, longer than it looks, and so it's deceptively smaller on the outside. Books everywhere, filling the shelves, lining the floor, that sort of thing. Sort of how I imagine Flourish and Blotts to look like.

Anyway, it was my second time in the shop, and this book spoke to me. Almost literally. It said, "Ashlee, if you do not buy me, I will disappear forever. I only cost $9.50 and I am gorgeous." And it is. The cover's a bit dirty and the edges a bit worn, but it was probably fantastic when it was first published. Inside there's pictures of Tennyson and the characters from his poems, and it has everything except what was published in the last six years of Tennyson's life because this was published six years before he died.

This book used to be in a library somewhere (specifically, the "Mt. Hope Library"), because it's still got its pocket and card attached to the backflap. Also, the title of the library neatly written in impeccable cursive above said pocket. Doesn't look like anyone ever checked the book out, though. (Boy, I know how that feels.)

Still, now it's got a new home with me, where, since my shelves aren't the best at present, I'm storing it on its spine because that's better than storing it on its fore-edge. My books deserve the best, especially now that I feel all guilty due to the preservation classes I've been taking.

P.S. I also purchased a copy of the Faerie Queene, which is exciting, but it's a more recently published paperback copy, which isn't as exciting as an 1886 copy of Tennyson. It just isn't.

Fall (Study) Break, Part 1

10/11/13

Seriously, it's midterm already? Already?

I mean,  I have a midterm test next Friday in SI 502 (that's my programming class). It's open code, open book, open everything but other people during the test. I've actually been considering applying to be a 502 GSI next fall; I keep finishing my code before discussion session and then helping my classmates. (Of course, it doesn't hurt that all MY GSI does is re-hash the lecture and barely lets us ask questions or help each other, when I know for a fact that many of the 502 GSIs have their sessions do exactly that, asking and helping.)

It's still my favorite class. Sadly, my least favorite thus far seems to be the archives one. Cassandra, one of my archives classmates (though she's also in 581 and 502 with me), says that maybe it's the class and not the specialization, that I should find a job doing archive-y stuff before changing my mind. But, you know, we're almost a 1/4 done with this program already. Like, no joke. It's practically graduation when you think like that. (Can't think like that. I have a test next week.)

I still have work next week, so it's not like it's an entirely 'break' break, but I don't have my class-from-10-to-7 day on Tuesday next week, so that's beautiful. But I have lots of projects I need to get a jump on--designing a collection preservation plan for a semi-fictional collection and figuring out my position paper for archives and studying for my 502 midterm by going through my old code. So I'll still be busy starting again tomorrow night. (Oh boy do I love Sabbath. I think I'm one of the least-stressed people in my cohort because I have 24 blessed hours when I don't worry about anything, especially school.)

More later during this (study) break.

Getting Caught Up

9/26/13

Wow, it's almost October. Which, here in Michigan, is going to end up being Octobrrrr. The leaves are already changing and I think that's thrown me off a bit because I'm still mentally in Tennessee, when it comes to seasons at least.

My favorite class so far is my programming class. I am learning how to code in Python.

Today for a class project (for a different class), I got to see the Papyrology Collection, which includes wooden mummy tags, various ostraka--and the oldest manuscript of a good portion of Paul's letters. I saw part of the book of Romans--11:36 to about 12:something--written in Greek on papyrus. It was ridiculously awesome. (We were actually ostensibly doing an environmental check because that's our assignment, but the place has such filtered air that the reading room actually smelled weird.)

I've been learning the bus system (since I want to know how it works before it's freezing and snowy outside), but when I walk the twenty minutes to campus, I try to take different paths so I can learn the city better. (I think I already know it better than I do Michigan City or Chattanooga, but that's partially because I haven't really lived in Michigan City for years and Southern wasn't a twenty-minute walk from downtown Chattanooga.) Today I was walking a new route to my job at the stacks office when someone behind me spotted my SI bag and decided to give me her contact information because she's an SI grad and knows that we're supposed to network. So that was cool.

Biggest problem so far is that I've been a bit lonely, despite making friends. I miss my jeesh, my fellowship. (You guys know who you are.) Yeah, I'm learning how to keep track of my finances, use coupons and read the grocery ads (though I haven't bought a Sunday paper yet), got Netflix (to watch Doctor Who), navigate the bus system and what not. Yeah, I'm driving to Detroit for a class project and will have to fill out a reimbursement form for the gas money. Yeah, the guy in the apartment next door sometimes walks around without a shirt on (of course I noticed). And there's a guy I only talk with on Wednesday mornings because we share the bus stop for five minutes before the bus arrives. And, yeah, I go to church, but I see them once a week. But overall, no real deep connections anywhere.

So sometimes I wish I had my friends here to discover it all with me. I wish I had Castle nights (I'm still about four episodes behind) and chances to play the character Gwen. Time to go to sleep.

If You Know Me, You'll Know Why This Is Interesting...

I'm a little ahead of my reveal schedule, since I have an confirmation appointment on Tuesday, but I figure that most people who read my blog are the people I'd tell anyway.

Check it out. I'm at the public library, using their wi-fi. What's going on in this picture? :D

~Ashlee

Back to The...

11-2-12

Fiction.
____________________________
Did I get transported back in time? Did someone conk me over the head with something heavy? Steal me away in the TARDIS? Fly backwards around the Earth? Use a Time-Turner?

I mean, he says hello to me and I do some dorky little wave and immediately feel self-conscious. It's not as bad as Harry asking Cho to the Yule Ball in one long unintelligible sentence. Or George McFly saying 'density' instead of 'destiny.'

It wasn't bad at all, you know. It's not like how I felt in high school--I can talk to him, I can make jokes, etc., It's not like I blush every time I see him. I don't, which is a relief. It's just...I feel stupid and I feel obvious and I feel invisible and I feel nothing will ever happen, just like all the other times.

But he still said hello to me. He didn't have to, you know.

But, seriously, though, what happened? Did someone stuff me in a Delorean?
____________

What Did I Spy With My Normal-Sized Eyes...

11-2-12

Yesterday I was leaving Hulsey after actually achieving exercise there for the second day in a row for the first time in a good long while (like 2 weeks) and I had to do a double take because I saw a princess in my peripheral vision.

Yep. Four- or five-year-old girl, dressed like Snow White. She'd probably worn it for trick-or-treating or some harvest festival or something the day before and had refused to change into other clothes. She wanted the world to know that she was a princess and she didn't care what other people thought of her wearing a dress like Snow White.

You go, little kid.

I wish sometimes us adults could remember to do what you were doing.

More on Summer Camp

7-27-12

I don't want camp to end.

Well, it's more like, I don't want to go back to my parents' house for the time between camp ending and school starting. I don't even know when I can move in down at school. (If only they'd let me live in the village for one more semester.)

But, also, I don't want camp to end. We have one more full week, but five staff members are leaving on Sunday because of various things (going to be a student missionary, other duties in other places, etc.). We've only been fully together for a month (since Kali got here from Denmark) and now we're breaking up again.

That's probably the only thing that I dislike about camp: the fact that it inevitably ends.

Corn Mazes and Crazy MacBeth

10-10-11

Well, I've had a great weekend. I went to bed early on Friday evening, slept great, and enjoyed listening to the orchestra and to Pastor Dave at church. I made a great lunch (that both Amy and Chelsea liked) and I had a nice nap. Then a group of at least 40 of us went to a corn maze. More specifically, The River Maze, which was just straight up awesome. It was dark, but the moon was out and they had a big light at the top of the field, so we could see well enough. Lots of fun. Even though I'm from Indiana, I'd never been to a corn maze before. That was fun. Then off to Steak and Shake for dinner at 11:30 PM. Hahaha. But I had a great evening for only like 20 bucks. Yay!

Yesterday, I went to work and what not, like I normally do. But then I went with the Southern Scholars and the Shakespeare class to the Shakespeare Tavern. It's in Atlanta, GA, and we saw MacBeth. Very well acted and very good food. I'd definitely go again. Also, about 20 bucks (if I hadn't had a Southern Scholar discount).

Not too bad, considering I'm a poor college student.

Also, I've realized some stuff that is changing the way I see the world and myself. This makes me pretty darn happy. Also, I don't have News Reporting class today. Yay!

More later.

A Summer of Firsts

8-23-11

Okay, so now I finally have some time to write about my summer.

It was definitely a summer of firsts, as my title indicates. Let's see, perhaps a list would be good here:

• First time climbing straight up a mountain (as in, clambering over boulders and picking out footholds, etc.) at Devils Lake, WI. I learned a lot about my fellow staff members during that climb, which, despite being physically intense and long, was healing for me.
• First time at Camp Wakonda, in Westfield, WI. It was my sixth summer at camp, but my first at Wakonda. Suffice it to say, I love Wakonda just as much as I still love Timber Ridge (and that's saying something).
• I learned how to wear makeup. You might not see it on me a lot, but I own some and I know how to put it on now.
• I blobbed others, was blobbed, and was double-blobbed for the first time this summer.
• On my way home from camp, I recalculated my own route (I don't own a GPS) when I took an exit completely instead of taking the first part of the exit and then merging with a different road. I still made it home and I added to the map in my head. Go me.
• I wrote a skit that others performed for the crafts-and-ceramics-run Sabbath School we had at camp. People really enjoyed it, complimented me on the Sabbath School, and even one of the people who had performed in the skit asked me where I had gotten the skit. When I said, "I wrote it," he said, "Really? I didn't know that. It was cool." Talk about verbal warm fuzzies.
• I went to Wisconsin Dells for the first time ever. (It's not that far away from camp.) I went mini-golfing at Pirates Cove, rode the Hades rollercoaster at Mount Olympus, and watched a pastor get kicked out of Starbucks with a paddle being held by the manager (it was a photo scavenger hunt, and the Starbucks manager was very cooperative).
• I had my first pediicure. Boy, are my feet ticklish! 
• I worked at a camp meeting for the first time, which included time in the Youth Tent as a song leader (*GULP*), time in the camp store (*YAWN*), and time in the camp office (*YAY*). Oh, and time cleaning Fireside's restrooms and sweeping the hall.
• I went paintballing for the first time ever, and enjoyed it enough that I spent four dollars to get another 100 rounds of paint so I could keep playing. I got at least five welts.
• I was part of the mime for our Friday night program, which was a first. I was also the personification of Death (or Smoking), which was also a first. For that role, I ended up with cracked glasses, a bruise over my right eye, a jammed left thumb, and good memories. (Happily, I was able to get my glasses replaced for free. If we'd gone a day later to the eye doctor, the warranty would have run out.)
• I made a lot of new and great friends. I got more warm fuzzies this summer than I've gotten in the five previous summers put together. I love my new camp directors, and I love their little boys.
• I read The Hunger Games, which I liked enough that I bought the hardcover copies of Catching Fire and Mockingjay when I got to school and read them the day I bought them. It's the first time I've ever REALLY liked books written in present tense first person.

And I'm sure that there's a lot more that I did for the first time, but I can't think of any more at the moment. This post is long already, so I'll just say: more later.

Life

4-1-10

A person's life is little like a building in construction--foundations are dug and poured, the structure goes up, the roof goes on, the interior is installed. Sometimes, when it looks like nothing's happening on the outside of the building, major things are happening on the inside. Sometimes weather stalls construction for a bit, but then again, things happen inside during bad weather, too.

The above is one of the things that I think about whenever I walk past the in-process Florida Hospital Hall.

As regarding my life, I am excited about participating in Sonrise as a mobster this weekend--not completely excited about probably losing my voice by the end of it, but hey, until someone teaches me how to properly scream all day, I'll keep losing it. Probably a bad thing, but I won't regret it until I'm old(er).

The Wind Symphony tour in May was canceled due to not having enough musicians able to go, so I had to cancel my plane ticket, and it turned out to be nonrefundable. That stinks. I'm also pretty disappointed because my church family was going to feed us all on our way up to GLAA and they were excited about it, and because my family was probably going to actually be able to hear me play in university band. Granted, that means I have an extra week to work on camp planning, but still. It also means I can be on time to Katie's wedding in May, but still. I was looking forward to the tour.

Other than that, life is humming along. I've got a lot to do, but who doesn't?

Some Statements about the Week

12-10-09

First, I had a longboarding (sort of like a skateboard, but longer) lesson on Monday. I fell on my butt and scraped my elbow through two layers of jacket. I pretended it didn't hurt--and, now, on almost Friday, it still hasn't completely scabbed over. However, I still want to keep having longboarding lessons because I wanted to try something new, even if it means a few scrapes.

Second, I have finals next week, and two of them are back to back. I have not started studying for either of those yet. They're on Monday. GO Sunday studying!

Third, I don't have much work next week. Go studying and packing!

Fourth, it is cold in Tennessee. It is even colder in Indiana. Yet I am going to Indiana on Wednesday. I am going to freeze. I wish I had heated seats like Jordan (my ride to the Coopers') does. That was comfy tonight.

Fifth, hanging out at the Coopers' is fun and being a normal geeky person is fun, too. Just saying.

More later.

Day Off

Perhaps you all wonder why I post on Thursdays.

Thursday is my day off. Yes, we get days off from camp. I slept in this morning, and am now at Panera. (They have free Internet!) Steven, Andrea, Taylor, and I are going to go in search of boots for Taylor for tomorrow's medieval festival (formerly known as rodeo). So, we're just going to hang out with each other and look for Taylor's shoes. Fun stuff.

I'm working on various projects, and camp is going great. We had a missing camper drill on Tuesday, and that was intense! We did well, even though we didn't find the camper (because they hid her outside of the planned search pattern, which made no sense, and now that area is being added to the search pattern).

I love ceramics, and I think that I will take some sort of art class at Southern. I don't know when, but I will. Also, I've been asked to be a part of a College Bowl team next year. ALREADY. We shall do well, I hope.

More later.

Why I'm Going to Continue Blogging

I sort of got hooked on it while being a student missionary, and, whether people read it or not, I'm going to write and post, post and write, whatever.

I learned a lot of things while on Ebeye, and I'm trying to put those things into action. I want to live life, not just be a spectator in it. A long time ago I heard a quote from Jack London: "It is so much easier to live placidly and complacently. Of course, to live placidly and complacently is to not live at all." Thus, the address of this blog. I don't want to just exist, I want to live. Thus, this blog.

One of my favorite quotes from the Lord of the Rings is as follows:

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,
Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

To me, the Road is life--and I am not just going to stand on the side of the road and be content to stay where I am. I'm going to travel it!! I don't know what lies ahead, but I do know that it's going to be an adventure. I hope you join me for it. (Or not. Whatever. I don't have to have readers of this blog in order to keep blogging. But I do prefer having readers.)

Living life,

Ashlee