Vespers

11-11-11 (Of course I had to have a post today, since everyone's been freaking out about today's date.)

I was really on the fence about going to vespers tonight. Not because I hate vespers or anything. I actually like vespers. I like sitting and hearing most of the school sing praises to God and listening to great speakers. I like vespers and have since academy.

Recently, however, I've ended up sitting alone at vespers. I do that enough in church because I never seem to be able to meet up with people at church, so I don't want to sit by people I don't know at vespers, especially since we're so closely packed together in the pews. That desire has led to some conversations, but I've never seen those people ever again.

So I was pretty much planning to skip vespers today, but then Curtis suggested that I go to Hymnsing, which takes place after vespers. I texted Janelle and (long story short) we agreed to sit together at vespers tonight. This indeed took place, and we went to Hymnsing as well. I really enjoyed singing the hymns (even though all those people with great voices sort of intimidate me, since my singing voice is nothing to boast of at all), and the tiny bit of hanging out with friends I did was very therapeutic for me. This week has been very long, and I'm glad it's over. That time with friends made it a nice ending for a long week.

But, really, I think I was supposed to be at vespers tonight. The phrase from Pastor Nelson's sermon that stuck out to me was "Any vocation is a calling from Christ." It's something that I needed to hear; it's certainly what has stuck with me since vespers ended.

If you know me, you know I've been wrestling with decisions about what my future life will be like, profession-wise. And one of the problems I've had with what I think I might be called to do (or, at least, pursue at this point) is that the profession is viewed as being full of the scum of the earth, the pinnacle and stereotype of liars and truth-dodgers who just want to make money. I've been trying to figure out how that profession balances with Christ's call to service and missionary work.

But maybe it's not my job to figure out how it's supposed to balance. Maybe Christ will work that out for me. Maybe I just need to pay attention and listen and follow Him instead of trying to figure everything out to the nth degree.

More later.