Sort of Distracted

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In scuba diving, getting distracted can get you dead. Our instructor gave us plenty of crazy stories about people wandering off and getting stuck or eaten or running out of air and just plain ending up dead. I believe his stories, though I'm sure he made sure to tell us the scary stories so we'd do what we were supposed to.

Anyway, I'm sort of distracted right now. And it's not even dangerous stuff that's distracting me--it's good, I'm growing sort of stuff. And it's not super bad. I mean, I still pay attention in class, I'm still doing homework and getting all the stuff I need done done. But in those spare moments, the moments between class and work and homework, the moments where I'm half-awake and half-asleep, I get distracted. I think it's the most distracted I've ever been in my life.

What frustrates me is that 1) I'm getting distracted and 2) what happens with the stuff I'm distracted by is not under my control. (So I suppose it's a little scary, too. But so was scuba diving after all those stories Hidao told.) I'm in control of whether I'm distracted or not, and, most of the time, it's not a big deal. I choose to focus, and all is well.

But it's those unbidden moments of distraction that frustrate me, and all that my best human friend tells me is "Choose not to be distracted." (Some days I don't know if he gets that I have difficulty just switching off like that. Anyway.)

So, even though it's mostly good things that are distracting me, I don't want to lose my head. I don't want to get narked, to use scuba diving parlance. I don't want to wander off and end up (metaphorically) dead. I want my head and my feelings to work together, not against each other.

Because who knew how fascinating fish were?