*deep breath*

7-17-12

Maybe I should have put this before the derping over the upcoming Hobbit movie, but whatever. The people who actually read this are my friends. :D

I'm not even going to attempt to hide this behind some veneer of fictionality. It won't work.
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I don't know why I keep trying to squash how I feel. Is it to avoid feeling particular ways? Or to avoid feeling? To ward off rejection?

I certainly know that I think too much. And I want everything to make sense. But people really don't make sense, sometimes not even if they want to be.

I suppose if all I learn this summer is how I personally flirt, that's a good thing. But of course part of me wants more than that. Not because I've never dated or had a boyfriend. Because I actually like him. And that scares me, I guess. Why, I don't know.

Next week is Family Camp 1. He'll no longer be a counselor, and if I know my directors well enough, we might end up having more opportunities to work together. (They met at camp, so they're super encouraging about stuff like that.) I'm not even sure what I'm wanting out of that. Best I'd figure it out.
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Wow. I don't think I've ever been that open about this topic on my blog or in person to you guys. (You know which of you I'm talking to when I say that. You're my friends after all.)

And now my fingers are cold in this freezing staff lounge. Time to warm them up.