I do not have the best words for what I presently feel, nor can I fully articulate what I am thinking. So I won't try to share those things at this moment in time.
But today was different than, say, the eleventh of September. That day I remember crystal-clear, all sharp-edged and breathless news set against the backdrop of standardized tests and eighth-grade drama.
But today felt different. More muddy, more blurred. Maybe it was the rain, for which I was (perhaps pettily) glad for. Maybe it's the question of a bewildered Theoden at Helm's Deep (what can men do against such reckless hate). Maybe it's wondering how to balance speaking out for truth and righteousness and good with my everyday needs and wants. (Because, honestly, I can't maintain being angry all the time, it's exhausting and, at least for me, doesn't solve a darn thing.)
So today was different.
But maybe tomorrow will be better. Because maybe we will do better and be better than we are today.
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